Does my sister think I joined a cult?
Over the weekend, I took my daughter to a Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) training in Los Angeles — it was 4 consecutive days from 9am-8pm.
She had to miss school.
Because I was assisting, it meant I had to get there earlier and leave laterI asked my sister if she'd be open to bringing my daughter to the trainings in the morning.
"I can drop her off but I don’t agree with you sending her to this training," she texted.
My heart immediately dropped.
Disapproval.
Shame.
FAILURE.
Those were the feelings and responses that happened within the first 5 seconds of reading this message...
My sister, the golden child in the family. Me, the rebel.
Here I was, f*cking up again.
And then, I took a breath.
I know how valuable this training is.
A single 15-minute exercise changed my life and I permanently healed intergenerational trauma with my tiger parents.
I've watched my clients achieve and receive everything they've ever wanted we unblocked and unlocked their unconscious blueprint through my Breakthrough Sessions...
Clients have quadrupled their rates.
Lost weight to become stronger & healthier.
Gotten over professional pitfalls that had held them back for years.
Transformed their familial & intimate relationships, so everyone is more deeply connected.
I invited a new friend to this training, too. We bumped into each other in the restroom during a break and she made a hand gesture to show how her mind was blown.
"I know, it's wild, right? I know some people think it's almost like a cult after you discover NLP, but it's because once you learn these tools, you want everyone to know them because of how easy it is to change your life SO FAST."
She nodded adamantly. In fact, I also invited one of my group coaching clients who released a phobia she's had for 40 years in less than 10 minutes!
When I asked my sister if she'd heard of NLP or what her feelings about it were, she wrote back:
"I’m on a call, I’m not going to engage in a debate on this but I hope you check in with wilder"
"It’s difficult to have you say you disagree, yet not be open for conversation," I texted back. "That's not fruitful."
I know this work is profound — yet we also only do it with permission.
You have to want it.
That's why, when this training opportunity came about, I asked Wilder if she wanted to participate.
I always check in to be sure that this is what she wants, and while you may think that as a mother, I have undue influence, my daughter isn't like that.
She's her own person. She has strong opinions and desires, and doesn't let anyone — including myself and her father — stand in the way of that because it's what we've taught her all along.
"Just because there are adults around you doesn't mean they're right," we've told her throughout her life. "You have sovereignty. You have free will. You get to choose and speak up."
You could say that as a mother, I have undue influence, but if you met my daughter, you'd know how independent she's been from the start.
She was excited. She wanted to do the things that she'd heard me coaching clients through.
Wilder (semi-officially assessed by her child therapist) seems to have moderate ADHD, so I was concerned that she might have a hard time sitting still throughout these long trainings.
She'd do one-handed cartwheels and handstands during the 15-minute breaks, then sit in the front row during the teaching segments, raise her hand to offer thoughts, and participate with the adults in exercises.
Wilder had to miss a fun Roar & Snore sleepover at the San Diego Zoo with her Girl Scout Troop to attend this event. She felt a little conflicted at first, yet we'd walk out of the hotel conference room every night to her saying a variation of:
"I love this. Thank you so much for taking me to this training. I love it even more than school — and that's saying a lot, because you know how much I love school."
Many people got to know my daughter during this training. They'd then come up to me (she was the only minor attending) and say:
"I wish I had this when I was growing up. My life would've been completely different."
It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
The experience with my sister led to an amazing opportunity to forgive myself — and to reflect on how far I've come.
I take clients through a Ho`oponopono technique. (It's not the version popularized in modern media.) It's the ancient Hawaiian version... and because everyone is a reflection of me, I was able to reflect upon this sibling experience and realize:
I wish I could've been a better older sister growing up; I started becoming mini-mom by age 9 and I simply wasn't equipped.
I wish I could've been more compassionate to myself when I simply couldn't fall in line with the traditional path that was expected of me.
Thankfully, I was able to integrate the healing to become pono through this ancient practice. And, afterward? My sister asked me and my daughter to dinner.
It really isn't too late to have a happy childhood.
That's what my TEDx talk is going to be about.
Mahalo,
Judy
P.S. If you'd like to experience Ho`oponopono healing for yourself, here's a free gift for you...
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Judy Tsuei
Encinitas, CA
